The dumbest thing you ever did while in the service...

[Michael Tompkins]

Ok,...I'll go first.

While at the 503rd MP Co, my roommate and I decided that we each wanted to buy switch blades at the little knife store in Friedberg, FRG. I wanted to get one to take back to the States with me before I ETS'd.

After we each got one, I came back to the room and put mine in my wall locker and hid it. Higher-ups frowned upon us having them. They only lead to trouble. They were oh, so, right.

My roommate Ricky thought that they were cool and carried his on his person all the time...while off duty of course. Weeks later there was a festival in downtown Friedberg and Ricky went, and as usual, carrying his knife. That was on a Saturday.

Next morning, Ricky wakes up to tell me he did a "bad thing" last night. I asked him what. He tells me that he stabbed a "Hermann". Hermann is the nick-name that we gave any German National. I say "WHAT??" He says that he stabbed a Hermann and procedes to tell me the story.

Ricky had been drinking (big surprise) and was walking down the sidewalk with a couple of buddies from 2/27 FA when the German guy in front of him turns around and decks him. Ricky tries to get up and the German decks him again. Ricky tells me that he says, "Fu*k this!" and pulls out his knife and stabbs the guy 5 or 6 times and then runs off. As it turns out, one of Ricky's "buddies" had pinched the German guy's girl-friend on the butt while walking behind. She tells him and he wheels around and punches the first guy he sees. That would be Ricky.

Just so you know, the German guy lives. Evidently, no vital organs hit. It was in broad daylight and Ricky was easily identified. Since we worked closely with the Polizei, they knew Ricky and knew that he did it, but for some reason did not come knocking...at least right away.

Here is where I come in. After hearing the story, I ask Ricky where the knife is. He tells me and I pull it out of his pants pocket. He's still hung-over so I open it up, take it to the sink in the latrine and wash what little blood was on it, off. I then take it outside and throw it into the fire pond out back of the barracks. It wasn't until a little later that I realized what I had just done trying to protect my friend. I knew that this wasn't going to play out well and now I have just involved myself.

For several weeks nothing was said and nothing happened. Everybody knew about it except the higher-ups. We would see our Polizei buddies and they would always ask, "Ricky in jail yet?" We would blow it off or just say no. I was sweating it, too. I figured it was only a matter of time and then they would find out I helped him. Believe it or not, nothing happened for almost 6 months. I had already ETS'd and was back in the states when it caught up to Ricky. I heard he went to Mannheim. Not a good place to be as a former MP.

Well, I know it's long, but that's the dumbest thing I ever did. Mike

[TomSudz]

Do you mean BESIDE reenlisting?

[Griff Murphey]

Another ROTC Advanced Camp story from Fort Sill, 1970. We were shooting 105 howitzers in direct and indirect fire. One of my fellow cadets was the gun captain and told me to prepare five rounds which we could rapidly discharge, which I did, pulling the requisite increments. Anyway when the actual safety guy real Army NCO realized what I had done (because he sees these five big 105 bullets all set up and ready to load), both I and the gun captain got quite a dressing down with a lot of emphasis on what could happen (in theory) if a "primed case" (now loaded) was set down on a sharp object. Those rounds were fired and that safety NCO dropped the increments from each one AS each one was fired, and I can tell you, they were gotten rid of very hurriedly.

The gun captain was Mitch, the same guy who stuffed a 7.62 blank to the tip with powder from other blanks, and a twig in the end... Plus BFA, and blew up his M-14.

[cplnorton]

It was either building a MRE bomb, or going rattlesnake hunting with my bayonet stuck on my M16. As with all "great" ideas that happen in the military, it was because I was bored, and dumb!

[rider]

Climbed up the east side of a mountain with a couple of buddies, drank some wine at the top and watched the sun go down. It's funny how all those little hand and foot holds disappear in the shadow of the mountain when the sun goes to the other side. I learned some simple but valuable "outdoor" lessons while stationed at Ft. Carson, CO.

[alibi]

I am reminded of an Instructor Development Course conducted by F.B.I. instructors in which one of the exercises was to get up in front of the class and tell your most embarrassing moment. One of the instructors commented that he doubted anyone shared their truly most embarrassing moment.

In the military I did allot of things in 27 years that were dumb or as the result of "HUA." I think we tend to forget the bad stuff and remember the good things, so I can only relate the one that no one except me knew about and every time I think of it I chastise myself for being a prize dummy.

We were cleaning the M60A1 tanks we had used for both range firing and tactical exercises. The rod and brush used for cleaning the bore of the 105mm gun was usually a team effort that required one person inside the turret to guide the brush into alignment with the breech, so that it could be pulled out, because the brush would drop down and catch on the breech. The bore brush had a pad eye on the end and I stuck my finger into the pad eye to lift the brush and got the bright idea I would resist the pull back by the others. I'm lucky it didn't break my finger before I could get it out of the pad eye and about half my arm was pulled into the breech. I then realized that if the breech block releases had tripped I could have been seriously injured by the breech block closing on my arm.

It wasn't embarrassing because no one saw or knew of it, but I can assure you I never did that again.

[C5M1]

Upon return from VN, myself and a few friends got drunk on guard duty one night, Texas, lots of jackrabbits, case of warm beer, 22 pistol= pile of dead jacks in front of guard shack next morning. We were asked about it the next afternoon. Admitted nothing, denied everything.

All was lost in the great influx of troop returning from VN.
No names or location to protect the guilty. :eusa_shhh:

Done even dumber chit that I will only admit to under intoxication.


regards, dennis

[Michaelp]

Enlisted airborne infantry to escape the draft in '66.
During the testing at the induction center I was told I had scored high on the language aptitude and was given the opportunity to become a linguist.

"No deal" sez I. Retrospectively a less than brilliant decision. No actual regrets, though

[Rick]

Went into an ammunition magazine that was on fire. Came out three times for a fresh fire bottle and turned down a accommodation for my heroism. Now this is what actually happened. I was thrown into that fire and every time I tried to come out the crowd handed me a new extinguishers and pushed me in again. The dumbest thing I did was not running the opposite direction in the first place.

I was on the fire party that day. Was standing next to the hatch when the fire call went off. So I was breaking out the fire hoses to save time for the fire party to fight the fire when they arrived. That's when the crowd figured I was a firefighter and decide to just push me in.

[Guamsst]

MRE bombs.....BIGGER GRIN THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE.

Dumbest thing I did was change a valve on a Cryogenic tank. Can't remember if it was LOX or LIN. I mean Liquid Oxygen or Liquid Nitrogen. But the tank was about 2/3 full and leaking. So, if we remove the valve thousands of gallons of -300 degree liquid will come spraying out uncontrollably. So, we came up with a brilliant battle plan. Pull one valve off and jam the new valve on as quick as we can. We got two of us prepped. Faceshields and aprons. Then we had two more people standing by with extra sets of gloves.

Amazingly, it worked. Sure, it sprayed all over and we froze about 4 pairs of gloves each, but we got it done. I have no idea how we ever thought it was a good idea. Guess there are just too many rednecks in fuels. Our boss asked us one time how we did this without draining the tank. We laughed and sheepishly looked away. He stared blankly for a minute then his jaw dropped and he quickly walked away never to ask again....LOL

[joem]

The dumbest thing I was involved in was a inspection on Sunday morning, outside in RVN in a driving rain storm. Everybody got giged for uniforms not pressed (we were soaked to the skin) and caps not starched and blocked, muddy boots and dirty weapons (water in barrel).

[cwartyman]

Dumbest thing I ever did was while on Roving Patrol while tdy to the MP's during Desert Storm in Bahrain, we were outside the fence line of the base taking a chow break of MRE's when a camel walked up to us so I tried to give it a hot dog the camel chewed a bit of it then spit back at me and went for the open dehydrated fruit that was open on the hood.
Being pissed that it spit the hot dog back at me I took the MK1 anti nerve agent kit out and shot the camel up. The camel kinda stood there with his legs shaking and then flopped over and we got the hell out of dodge, didnt stay around to see if it lived but we never heard anything about it either.

[Michaelp]

I heard the winner this weekend at 50th anniversary of 5th SFG.
An old SF CSM was 1st live ranger over the top at pont Du Hoc.
During the 40 year ceremony Pres Reagan asked how that felt.
"Just shows how F---dumb a human can be." was his response.
He went on to have a long distinguished career.

[John Sukey]

Going Waaaay back, radar controled 90mm gun battery. To get the guns to fire where the radar on top of the van was pointing, the gun crew lined up the barrel with the optics in the tracking antenna on top of the van and then added 180 back azimuth. Anyway one crew forgot to do that. So When the switch was pulled, 3 Loaded 90mm guns were pointed at the target and ONE slewed around and pointed directly at the antenna:eek: The vans were made of magnesium and we were told they would burn to the ground in a few minutes.

Quad fifties. They also were at the firing range. New troop froze at the controls and the gun started spinning around while firing. I wasn't there but was told a NCO with more guts than brains jumped up between the barrels and hit the off switch.

[joem]

There was a lot of tall grass and brush around my bunker. I thought it would be easy to burn it. Opened up a can of napalm and spread it around over bushes and bamboo. Seems I didn't get back far enough and when I lite it off, blew me off my feet. I'm tellen you, you can't beat your way through jungle grass and bamboo with your bare hands. Didn't get burnt but was reallt smoked and stinkey.

[cwartyman]

I hit a battery switch relay connector(not the battery itself but it is a relay that switches between the U-batt and E-batt) on an F-18 while the engines were turning to get it unstuck with a metal speed handle, didnt look to see that the RTV was in place hit the terminal, arced the speed handle and it threw me back 3 feet on my ass. Never again did i fail to check if the RTV was intact. Electricity is no fun when it goes through you.
Mack

[amber]

There was a lot of tall grass and brush around my bunker. I thought it would be easy to burn it. Opened up a can of napalm and spread it around over bushes and bamboo. Seems I didn't get back far enough and when I lite it off, blew me off my feet. I'm tellen you, you can't beat your way through jungle grass and bamboo with your bare hands. Didn't get burnt but was reallt smoked and stinkey.

How big was this can of napalm? I loaded a LOT of BLU/1B bombs (napalm - actually called incendegell (probably not spelled correctly) on F-100's in 'Nam. These bombs were 110 gallon capacity. We only filled them with 100 gallons to allow for expansion in the heat. Sometimes they still seeped through the seams a little.

[Rick]

We used Tide and JP 5 to make napalm on the Independence. Have no idea how they set the stuff off but it must have been a phosphorus of magnetism detonator. Only saw them use it in practice and remember seeing the ocean on fire and it would still be burning when we steamed over the horizon.

[amber]

The BLU/1B napalm bombs we used had at each end the following: aluminun end cap, under it was a electrically armed fuze which was screwed into a white phosphorus igniter which was screwed into the bomb itself. In addition, there was a coax cable with a fitting like on a 2 way radio antenna. This fitting was attached to the fuze.

The other ends of the coax ran through the bomb body to the center where there was a threaded well (hole). In this "well" a initiator was screwed in. The initiator was basically a type of power source (battery). A small thin cable lanyard was attached to the top of the initiator. The other end of the cable was attached to the aircraft plyon bomb rack arming seleniod. Before the pilot dropped the nape, he activated a switch which would send power to the arming seleniod causing the end of the cable to be "trapped" on the seleniod. Then when the nape was actually dropped, the cable would pull the top of the initiator sending power down the 2 cables to the fuzes. Now the fuzes were armed. When the bomb hit, fuze exploded causing the WP igniter to rupture. If you know anything about WP, air is what starts in burning. And by now the aluminun bomb containing the nape has ruptured too sending that nasty stuff all around. I'm sure most have seen pictures of these "fire bombs" being dropped.

NOTE: If the nape was going to be dropped from low altitude, we used 2 sort of cone shapped end caps - same on both ends of the bomb. If more precision bombing was required, we used a standard nose cap as just described and on the tail we installed an aluminiun tail fin. This would cause the nape to drop like a bomb. With cones on both ends, the napes just tumbled through the air.

NOTE: None of this information is restricted or classified. As far as I know, napalm is not in general use anymore.