blackhawknj
10-13-2011, 01:53
The Officer Corps:
1. The Merit Badge Collector. This type sprouted like mushrooms after a spring rain once the shooting stopped in Vietnam. You name it, he's got it-Ranger tab, Expert Infantryman's Badge, Master Jumper wings, Jungle Expert, Special Forces tab-if it's something he can wear on his fatigues/BDUs/ACUs, he's got it. If a course merely involves hard work-IMPOC (Infantry Mortar Platoon Officer's Course) or Battalion Motor Officer-he's not interested. The Merit Badge Collector is not a marksmanship or gunnery aficionado, badges for them are not worn on the combat uniform. Once thing the Merit Badge Collector doesn't have is what's behind the eyes and between the ears. Or any really useful knowledge. Or the respect of subordinates.
2. The Ticket Puncher. The Merit Badge Collector's brother. To slightly misquote a retired brigadier general and two tour Vietnam veteran, "he's made a career out of his own career." He's done it all-service with troops (enough to collect merit badges and get noticed), service on staffs, especially higher lever ones where he can rub shoulders with and get the attention of the powerful and well connected. Along the way, he's collected every staff award possible. At present the US military has as many flag officer slots as it had in WWII so an ambitious careerist has a much greater chance of achieving high rank on the basis of a much more slender and puffed up service record. The military's idiotic "Up or Out" promotion system has been defended on the grounds that it will encourage "the hard charger", I leave to you to examine the performance of our armed forces over the last 50 years and decide if the ticket puncher has give us the leadership we need and our troops deserve.
The Enlisted Ranks
1. PT Profile Pete. He hasn't done PT since about the 5th week of basic, has conned the medics into certifying that his various ailments and afflictions-bad back, bum knee, injured ankle-made it impossible for him to do PT but are not so bad as to warrant a medical discharge-or keep him from getting drunk or otherwise enjoying himself. Whines that he gets No Respect.
2. Fatman. PT Profile Pete's brother. He makes the Michelin Tire Man or the Pillsbury Dough Boy look svelte and buffed, thinks he has a waiver on meeting height and weight restrictions . Bristles at any suggestion that his 9,000 calorie a day/no exercise routine is at fault. If confronted by a superior of sufficient rank over his porcine appearance, repeats his mantra of "glandular disorder/runs in the family/can't exercise due to any injury". Whines that he gets No Respect.
3. The Whore. This type spread rapidly when the Military went coed in the 1970s, with the repeal of DADT we'll soon see them on the "other side". She know exactly how to get what she wants, whether it's another stripe, a glowing OER, a commendation, a cushy assignment or getting out of an unpleasant one. A sub-variation of the Whore is the Slut who gets pregnant either to avoid overseas deployment or get sent back to the States during one. The Whore knows she gets No Respect but is savvy enough not to make an issue of it.
4. The Ghost Soldier. From a retired 1SG (Army) on another board. "If you take your eyes off him for more 60-90 seconds he disappears. If single, he'll be found in another soldier's room (or in the latrine), earphones firmly plugged in, if married, he'll be found in his quarters watching soap operas."
5. The Family Problems Guy (or Gal). He joined the Army because he needed the medical and other family benefits for his dependents. Thinks the fact that he has dependents gives him the right to come and go as he pleases, the words "Family Emergency" are magic words that let him take off whenever wants irregardless of how much it inconveniences others. Always has to run one of his kids to the hospital-his wife doesn't drive. Constantly on the phone with his spouse. Invisible after 1700 and on weekends.
1. The Merit Badge Collector. This type sprouted like mushrooms after a spring rain once the shooting stopped in Vietnam. You name it, he's got it-Ranger tab, Expert Infantryman's Badge, Master Jumper wings, Jungle Expert, Special Forces tab-if it's something he can wear on his fatigues/BDUs/ACUs, he's got it. If a course merely involves hard work-IMPOC (Infantry Mortar Platoon Officer's Course) or Battalion Motor Officer-he's not interested. The Merit Badge Collector is not a marksmanship or gunnery aficionado, badges for them are not worn on the combat uniform. Once thing the Merit Badge Collector doesn't have is what's behind the eyes and between the ears. Or any really useful knowledge. Or the respect of subordinates.
2. The Ticket Puncher. The Merit Badge Collector's brother. To slightly misquote a retired brigadier general and two tour Vietnam veteran, "he's made a career out of his own career." He's done it all-service with troops (enough to collect merit badges and get noticed), service on staffs, especially higher lever ones where he can rub shoulders with and get the attention of the powerful and well connected. Along the way, he's collected every staff award possible. At present the US military has as many flag officer slots as it had in WWII so an ambitious careerist has a much greater chance of achieving high rank on the basis of a much more slender and puffed up service record. The military's idiotic "Up or Out" promotion system has been defended on the grounds that it will encourage "the hard charger", I leave to you to examine the performance of our armed forces over the last 50 years and decide if the ticket puncher has give us the leadership we need and our troops deserve.
The Enlisted Ranks
1. PT Profile Pete. He hasn't done PT since about the 5th week of basic, has conned the medics into certifying that his various ailments and afflictions-bad back, bum knee, injured ankle-made it impossible for him to do PT but are not so bad as to warrant a medical discharge-or keep him from getting drunk or otherwise enjoying himself. Whines that he gets No Respect.
2. Fatman. PT Profile Pete's brother. He makes the Michelin Tire Man or the Pillsbury Dough Boy look svelte and buffed, thinks he has a waiver on meeting height and weight restrictions . Bristles at any suggestion that his 9,000 calorie a day/no exercise routine is at fault. If confronted by a superior of sufficient rank over his porcine appearance, repeats his mantra of "glandular disorder/runs in the family/can't exercise due to any injury". Whines that he gets No Respect.
3. The Whore. This type spread rapidly when the Military went coed in the 1970s, with the repeal of DADT we'll soon see them on the "other side". She know exactly how to get what she wants, whether it's another stripe, a glowing OER, a commendation, a cushy assignment or getting out of an unpleasant one. A sub-variation of the Whore is the Slut who gets pregnant either to avoid overseas deployment or get sent back to the States during one. The Whore knows she gets No Respect but is savvy enough not to make an issue of it.
4. The Ghost Soldier. From a retired 1SG (Army) on another board. "If you take your eyes off him for more 60-90 seconds he disappears. If single, he'll be found in another soldier's room (or in the latrine), earphones firmly plugged in, if married, he'll be found in his quarters watching soap operas."
5. The Family Problems Guy (or Gal). He joined the Army because he needed the medical and other family benefits for his dependents. Thinks the fact that he has dependents gives him the right to come and go as he pleases, the words "Family Emergency" are magic words that let him take off whenever wants irregardless of how much it inconveniences others. Always has to run one of his kids to the hospital-his wife doesn't drive. Constantly on the phone with his spouse. Invisible after 1700 and on weekends.