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View Full Version : It all started 100 years ago today



Alan De Enfield
08-04-2014, 12:37
Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of the pub when Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a whole new suit because of the new beer stains on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone cools down a bit.

Serbia points out that can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria

Austria asks Serbia who its looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over.

Japan calls over from the other side of the room that is on Britain’s side, but stays there,

Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey and gets punched back, there are no hard feelings because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown thru' a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting.

Russia gets thrown thru' another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage and wakes up with a personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs around the room chanting.

America waits until Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a bar-stool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet and buy drinks for all their friends.

JB White
08-05-2014, 10:15
Going back almost 50 years.....

One of our teachers in school asked us to write a page on the causes of WW1. Being the lazy cuss I was when it came to schoolwork I wrote:

"A Serb shot an Austrian so Germany attacked France"


She wasn't amused.