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aintright
02-10-2018, 06:32
This joke I hi jacked from another site or the three beers I had this evening , lol . Has been some time , but they tasted pretty good and here is the joke ,


Last Saturday afternoon in Washington, D.C. an aide to Nancy Pelosi visited the Bishop of the Catholic Cathedral in D.C. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's Mass, and asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.

The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over some of Pelosi's views." Pelosi's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to you if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint."

The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the Church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon." As Pelosi's aide promised, Nancy Pelosi appeared for the Sunday worship and seated herself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle. As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Ms. Pelosi was present.

The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While Ms. Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, the woman is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of her most egregious views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other issues. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using her wealth to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington and in California. The woman is simply not to be trusted."



The Cardinal concluded. “But, when compared with Hillary Clinton, Ms. Pelosi is a saint."

Kenneth

JB White
02-11-2018, 08:07
Gotta admit, he's a man of his word.

Sunray
02-11-2018, 10:17
"...a donation of $100,000..." Didn't think you could still buy your way into heaven. And here I've been being nice to people for the same reason. snicker.
Isn't it some kind of 'sin' trying to bribe a padre?

Vern Humphrey
02-11-2018, 02:23
It's called "Simony" -- which is defined as buying and selling religious acts. It comes from Simon Magus, who tried to buy the power to perform miracles from the Apostles.

Former Cav
02-11-2018, 04:00
Pat goes to the pastor of his church...and asks if the priest will bless and bury his dog.
The priest says "we don't do animals"
Pat says "well, the protestant street up the church will do it for 5 grand"
the priest says "Patrick, why didn't you tell me the dog was catholic":icon_e_surprised: