You might be a city boy

[Vern Humphrey]

Let's see if we can do a Jeff Foxworthy here -- anyone who wants to can add to this list.

If you fart and someone three doors down laughs -- you might be a city boy.
If you step off your front step into a pile of human poop -- you might be a city boy.
If someone breaks into your car while it's parked in front of your door -- you might be a city boy.

[JB White]

If there are four guys in a car yet they need to call someone to change a flat tire---they might be city boys.
If you walk into your cousins farmhouse and are upset to see guns propped in the corner by the door---you might be a city boy.

[Allen]

If you own a dog and you take it for walks to poop on someone else's property you might be a city boy.

[Allen]

If your kids have no place to play, no yard, no (normal) friends or hobbies, no decent schools, have to stay indoors at all times with nothing to do but play video games, become criminally minded and a burden to society you may be a city boy.

If you think the sound of gun shots and sirens all through the night is normal you might be a city boy.

If you think people passed out in public is normal and garbage cans are a type of heater during the winter you might be a city boy.

[togor]

...if you have more appliances in your kitchen than in your yard?

....if there are 3 grocery stores within a 15 minute drive of your house?

[clintonhater]

If you get a place in the county, either seasonal or full-time, and do your best to live exactly the same life-style as you lived in the city. For ex., never dreaming of simply piling up sticks & yard debris at the edge of your property; oh, no! that's toxic waste that has to hauled to the landfill. And of course, to allow hunting on YOUR land, even if you own hundreds of acres, is unthinkable.

That old saying about "you can take a boy out of the country..." is nowhere near as always & absolutely true as the reverse of it.

[JB White]

When someone passing by says "Good Morning" and you instinctively clench your fists while looking around----you might be a city boy.

- - - Updated - - -

If you walk past the urinals and lock a stall door behind you so nobody can grab your wallet---you might be a city boy

[blackhawknj]

You might be a city boy if your idea of a firearm is a zip gun.

[clintonhater]

You might be a city boy if your idea of a firearm is a zip gun.

City boys in the dope racket traded their zip guns for Glocks, Scorpions, etc. LONG ago.

[roomtempIQ]

You might be a city boy if you can't stack firewood properly so it doesn't fall over.

[oscars]

This too much fun and like shooting fish in a barrel
You’re a country boy if:
You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.
You ever cut your grass and found a car.
You have more than one car in your front yard and all are on concrete blocks
You have more than one dog chained in the from yard
Your wife has ever said, "Come move this transmission so I can take a bath."
You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You go to family reunions to find a new wife
Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade.
You think fifth grade is your senior year and eighth grade is post graduate education
Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
You have more than one relative with the name Bobby Joe or Cooter

[free1954]

if you think "a mile down the road" is really a mile you might be a city boy.
if you think shooting cans means, afriCANS, mexiCANs, and Puerto riCANS, you might be a city boy.

[free1954]

if you think my last post is politically incorrect, you might be a city boy.

[barretcreek]

If your wife keeps a flyswatter in the car to discipline the kiddies.....

[JB White]

If you hold hard to the right the entire time while driving down an unmarked country road-----you might be a city boy.

If you think a cattle crossing is supposed to work like a stop sign----you're definitely a city boy (and probably too damned close too!)

If someone waves and you don't wave or toot in return----you might be a city boy.

[Allen]

If you call 300' of visibility a clear day you might be a city boy.