Little Humor

[JOHN COOK]

Military Truisms
• "Aim towards the Enemy." [Instruction printed on US rocket launcher]
• When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is no longer our friend. [From a US Field Manual]
• Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
• Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
• Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
• If your attack is going too well, you are walking into an ambush.
• If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
• Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
• No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.
• Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.
• If the enemy is in range, so are you.
• Tracers work both ways.
• Friendly fire isn't.
• Five second fuses only last three seconds.
• Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
• The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
• Incoming fire has the right of way.
• The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
• If you can see the enemy, he can see you.
• And never tell your Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

john in SC

[Vern Humphrey]

And one I learned the hard way: Never step over a dead man.

(If he's the enemy, he isn't dead and he'll shoot you in the back. If he's friendly, where do you think he was standing when he got it?)

[shadycon]

When stationed in Ger. '71-'73, we were 30 cliks from the border. In case of air attack it was said we had 1 min. to live. Being a repair parts clerk You would be surprised of the common things we were not allowed to purchase. I case is a heater for a vehicle. Still I have no regrets being in the service.:1948:

[rayg]

I was in 57-58, Bamberg..where were stationed at?

[shadycon]

Bamberg; 6/10 FA:1948:

[PWC]

Ramstein-"K" town, 79-82

[PWC]

Some things learned at the University of Life in the College of Hard Knocks:

The law of Selective Gravitation: A dropped tool will land where it will do the most damage. There's also a corolloray; a dropped tool will land where further disassembly is required to retrieve it.

An instantaneous power supply protection device will operate too late.

Working definition of Entropy: left to themselves, things always go from bad to worse.

Anything received "cut to length" will be too short.

If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will go wrong is the one that will cause the most damage.

Beware the lightning that lurkith in hot equipment.

The failure probability of something is indersely proportinal to its ease of maintenance.

Something shipped in "perfect" condition will be unserviceable upon arrival.

Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

Graminski's Law of Ornathoptics: The flap created by a project, suspense, report, etc., is inversely porportional to its importance.
(may help to look up ornithopter)

[Shawn Grear]

Kitzingen Germany , Harvey Kaserne 3rd ID 82-84 Rock of the Marne . 11C

[shadycon]

I'm all ways right, except when I'm wrong!:1948:

[rayg]

57-58, Bamberg 10th Inf...

[S.A. Boggs]

When it is too quiet something big is going to happen.
Sam

[Papa Joe]

Wilflecken , '81-'83, 2/15th Inf./ 3rd Inf Division. Disbanded for Div.86 and never came back. Audie Murphy's regiment. 63T / wrench / recovery spec..