View Full Version : It?s hard to say good bye
Anyone who has gone through the traumatic ordeal of putting a pet down knows the feeling. I had to euthanize my 8 year old female cat yesterday. The last time I had to do that to a pet was back in 1997, so I had forgotten the intense sorrow. She was a tiny cat - only 7 pounds - but she was a major presence in our house. I became her buddy early on, and she always came to me for attention.
Unfortunately, she developed a cancerous tumor in one of her breasts that was discovered in May, 2020 that was smaller than an average pea. It was surgically removed. The prognosis for a complete recovery was poor since the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. I did not find it soon enough. She had almost two years of relatively good health but two large and very aggressive cancerous tumors were found yesterday. One had compressed her colon and the other compressed her esophagus. She could neither eat or move her bowels. The symptoms occurred within a week. Her last three month checkup was in late January and no tumors were found. The next exam was scheduled for late April.
We made a fatal error when she adopted us as a 4-5 month old stray on Memorial Day, 2014. We should have had her spayed immediately prior to her first reproductive (heat) cycle. This lowers the odds of females developing breast cancer to almost zero. We had her spayed after the first reproductive cycle because we were totally unaware that one of the main causes of breast cancer in female cats is the rush of hormones from her first heat.
Female cats should be regularly examined by their owners for breast tumors. There is a very short period of time, maybe as short as a few weeks, to find and remove the tumor before the cancer spreads into the lymph nodes. The tumor has probably existed for several weeks in her breast by the time it grows large enough to be felt.
It was a great 8 years. I only wish we had 8 more.
Sorry guys, this belongs in Gun Talk.
Those of us who love our pets know what you're going through. A cat or dog can become as much a member of the family as a human and in some ways are better.
As you know, time will help, though that seems unbelievable right now. I could have gone all day without reading this as I'm going through it myself with the loss of our miniature white Schnauzer. It's been 2 months and I still visualize him everywhere I look since we did so much together. He also fit the bill as "best friend". I had a white shadow when he walked the earth.
No dog or cat lives long enough. We see the whole cycle of life flash before us within a few short years.
As we get older our pets mean more to us. Flea medications (preventions) are better now so we can keep them in the house, sleep on our beds, etc... As we retire we can also spend more time with them and get closer to them which makes the ordeal of saying "bye" a lot harder.
On a side note: cats get heartworms just like dogs. It's a myth that cats can't receive the mosquito bite because of their fur but they do on their ears and nose. We've lost a cat or two from this not knowing.
Sorry for your loss.
Those of us who love our pets know what you're going through. A cat or dog can become as much a member of the family as a human and in some ways are better.
As you know, time will help, though that seems unbelievable right now. I could have gone all day without reading this as I'm going through it myself with the loss of our miniature white Schnauzer. It's been 2 months and I still visualize him everywhere I look since we did so much together. He also fit the bill as "best friend". I had a white shadow when he walked the earth.
No dog or cat lives long enough. We see the whole cycle of life flash before us within a few short years.
As we get older our pets mean more to us. Flea medications (preventions) are better now so we can keep them in the house, sleep on our beds, etc... As we retire we can also spend more time with them and get closer to them which makes the idea of saying "bye" a lot harder.
On a side note: cats get heartworms just like dogs. It's a myth that cats can't receive the mosquito bite because of their fur but they do on their ears and nose. We've lost a cat or two from this not knowing.
Sorry for your loss.
Thanks for your kind words. They mean a lot. She was part of our family.
Most of us have been there with our dogs or cats or both. There is no easy way to say goodbye. She loved and trusted you to take care of her. You did everything she could ask for. Sincerely. bruce.
Dick Hosmer
04-07-2022, 08:26
What everyone said. Sorry for your loss. Been through it too many times - next likely loss here will be Chance, our 17-year old male tabby, who is the mellowest cat we've ever seen. He truly is like a little furry person, and is VERY communicative and intuitive.
I had to put one to sleep in Nov for congestive heart failure, and one in Feb for kidney failure. I have one more, she's 13 and has arthritis, cushings dease and diabetes. She follows me everywhere, I know she's lonely. My lap and recliner belong to her. When she goes, there will be no more. We're too old to take on a puppy to train, and older dogs have already taken on someone elses personality. I have heald all my dogs as they passed. They were such a big part of our lives, and we of thiers. When I think of them, it feels like someone punched me in the nose.
I had to put one to sleep in Nov for congestive heart failure, and one in Feb for kidney failure. I have one more, she's 13 and has arthritis, cushings dease and diabetes. She follows me everywhere, I know she's lonely. My lap and recliner belong to her. When she goes, there will be no more. We're too old to take on a puppy to train, and older dogs have already taken on someone elses personality. I have heald all my dogs as they passed. They were such a big part of our lives, and we of thiers. When I think of them, it feels like someone punched me in the nose.
I know the feeling. My depression is still very intense. I do not expect it will relent anytime soon.
jaie5070
04-09-2022, 07:15
You brought tears to my eyes. We often take our pets for granted. I had to put our oldest cat down a month ago and another 10 months before. For some reason they always adopt me as their main care human. I was lucky. My two were 16 and 17. Still have three and one dog. I can't imagine a life without one in it.
You brought tears to my eyes. We often take our pets for granted. I had to put our oldest cat down a month ago and another 10 months before. For some reason they always adopt me as their main care human. I was lucky. My two were 16 and 17. Still have three and one dog. I can't imagine a life without one in it.
Yes, you were very lucky.
I held Kat a lot when she first came to us as a severely malnourished juvenile. The vet said she was healthy and all she needed was some food and TLC which I provided in abundance. She soon knew who to reward with her love and trust. She spent many hours sleeping on my lap and loved being brushed. I had nearly two years to prepare for this eventuality so you would think that I would be handling it better.
We are planning to volunteer at our local Animal Friends (a no-kill animal shelter) in May when we return from a trip. Maybe by then, I will have a clear mind and can decide whether I want to do this again.
Rick the Librarian
04-12-2022, 06:19
We lost three pets, two cats and a dog, within 18 months. Our "chiweenie" was the hardest - he was almost 14 - we left on a Hawaii trip, thinking he was all right. Got a call from our petsitter who told us he needed to be put to sleep. Fortunately, the petsitter had been around him most of his life and loved him as much as we. Still, it wasn't easy. Definitely, the downside of owning a pet! :(
Looking back, I still think the 8 years of joy Kat brought us was worth it. I would not hesitate to do it all over again and we are actively looking for another female kitten to fill that empty spot in our lives. Only this time, the hard lessons have been learned.
I had to put one to sleep in Nov for congestive heart failure, and one in Feb for kidney failure. I have one more, she's 13 and has arthritis, cushings dease and diabetes. She follows me everywhere, I know she's lonely. My lap and recliner belong to her. When she goes, there will be no more. We're too old to take on a puppy to train, and older dogs have already taken on someone elses personality. I have heald all my dogs as they passed. They were such a big part of our lives, and we of thiers. When I think of them, it feels like someone punched me in the nose.
My late sister lived in Cave Creek, AZ until her passing at age 80 in 2017. She refused to live her life without a dog by her side. She actually left behind two animals. A female horse (Peppy) and a female Golden Retriever (Honey).
I still own Peppy and she is boarded in CC and turned 30 years old on 4/12. She has treatable medical conditions and could live for several more years. My wife and I fly out to AZ once a year to see the horse and visit friends.
Honey came from a Golden Retriever Rescue when she was 5 years old. She turned out to be a real gem. My sisters final wish was to return Honey to the rescue, but I met a retired couple from Scottsdale that wanted her. So, after visiting the family, I decided that they could have her on the condition that I would get to visit her once a year.
I have known many Golden Retrievers and found them to be great companions. They typically have a very 50274mild personality, are very friendly, intelligent and trainable and love to be close to their humans. Before you totally give up the idea of having a dog companion, I highly recommend that you check out the Golden Retriever Rescues in the greater Phoenix area. You might find wonderful dog and a new best friend.
Some breeds ARE better than others but human personality differences determine what breeds are best for them as well. I've been raised with many dogs and cats that my mother had. Living along side a major hwy we always had a dog or cat in need of a home that wondered to us or had been dumped. Often my mother had 2 or 3 dogs and/or cats at a time.
The dogs were beagle's, lab's, spaniels, collie's and mostly terrier mix breeds. Along with the cats, they all developed their own unique personality's probably influenced by us and their surroundings with us.
As a young person living at home with my parents (and the pets) there was always chores, school, homework and later in life, work and raising a family. The time and attention these animals deserved simply wasn't there in abundance. I wish I could have known them all better. Someday, maybe?
When I retired 10 years ago I told myself I was going to give my daughters miniature white Schnauzer all the attention he desired. He was dropped off at our house every morning while she went to work and picked up when returning. We had a standard Schnauzer of our own and these 2 became quite pals.
In an effort to make my long story a little shorter, he became my life, I spent all my time with him. He is gone now (3 months now) and so is a huge part of me.
As stated before, everywhere I look I visualize him since we did so much together. His loss is overwhelming to me but he (and all the others) will always be with me.
My last pictures of him.
Some breeds ARE better than others but human personality differences determine what breeds are best for them as well. I've been raised with many dogs and cats that my mother had. Living along side a major hwy we always had a dog or cat in need of a home that wondered to us or had been dumped. Often my mother had 2 or 3 dogs and/or cats at a time.
The dogs were beagle's, lab's, spaniels, collie's and mostly terrier mix breeds. Along with the cats, they all developed their own unique personality's probably influenced by us and their surroundings with us.
As a young person living at home with my parents (and the pets) there was always chores, school, homework and later in life, work and raising a family. The time and attention these animals deserved simply wasn't there in abundance. I wish I could have known them all better. Someday, maybe?
When I retired 10 years ago I told myself I was going to give my daughters miniature white Schnauzer all the attention he desired. He was dropped off at our house every morning while she went to work and picked up when returning. We had a standard Schnauzer of our own and these 2 became quite pals.
In an effort to make my long story a little shorter, he became my life, I spent all my time with him. He is gone now (3 months now) and so is a huge part of me.
As stated before, everywhere I look I visualize him since we did so much together. His loss is overwhelming to me but he (and all the others) will always be with me.
My last pictures of him.
Allen,
We will be returning from our week in AZ on May 13th and, being cat people, we will begin the process to adopt a cat, preferably a healthy young female who has been spayed before her first heat, is FIV negative and has had all her shots. I hope she will outlive both of us but I am willing to accept what ever comes our way.
I think you have waited long enough and should adopt another miniature Schnauzer. We both know the feeling. Your dog and my cat were always there to give or demand attention. They occupied a lot of our days and nights. Now the house is empty and too quiet. We both loved our pets. It is time to let him go and give some other dog a great home.
I think you have waited long enough and should adopt another miniature Schnauzer. We both know the feeling. Your dog and my cat were always there to give or demand attention. They occupied a lot of our days and nights. Now the house is empty and too quiet. We both loved our pets. It is time to let him go and give some other dog a great home.
I hear ya. If one comes our way, maybe, but we're not going to go and seek one. They don't live long and the heart just can't take another loss like this. I have a 2 acre fenced in yard and have wanted to get 4 or 5 hens to eat the clover and dandelions that sprout up. Now, I don't even want to pursue that. A chicken is not a dog or cat but still, over time, there may come some attachment and they too will die on my watch.
My mother once had a female Golden Retriever too, a beautiful dog perhaps only a year or two old. She also has a 2 acre fenced in yard. My brother paid her a visit and left the gate open. While inside visiting my mother the dog went through the gate and was instantly struck and killed on the highway. A very sweet loving dog that we didn't have long, nor get to know very well.
Getting to cats. Not only do they have different breeds, I've noticed by color too that their personalities differ, the Siamese being the most loyal and "one owner" species of them all.
Where I live we have shelters of course but also have a PetSmart where you can adopt cats. They have a small room you go into and hold them one at a time. You can see which ones may take a liking to you. It's easier than gong to a shelter and the adoption rate is high so the selection changes from day to day. Some shelters, particularly the "no kill" shelters, have on-line sites where you view what they have.
My wife has an aunt who lost her Toy Poodle. They wanted another pet but wanted something way different so as to not think about the loss of the Poodle so they got a grown cat. It turned out that the cat became vicious, would bite them to the point of drawing blood and even attack them while they slept. They ended up taking the cat to the vet to have it put down or see what was going on. It turned out the cat was allergic to the food they were giving it. This was years ago, all is well, and they love the cat. Just an FYI.
Good luck with your new adoption.
50311We adopted a 4 month old male kitten named Beckham last night from a pet rescue known as Homeward Bound of West Virginia. We were taken in by his warm and friendly personality. The attached photos pretty much tell “Hammy’s” story. He’ll be available to come home with us after he receives his final vaccination next week.
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Congrats. Looks like you did well.
Just another FYI and perhaps you know it. If you let him in and out he will probably "tomcat" some when he gets older, staying gone for long periods of time and coming home all scratched up. If you keep him inside he may "mark" his territory or pee on everything.
Just the nature of a male cat. Getting them fixed early in life helps but doesn't always eliminate the problem completely.
I can think of four neutered indoor male cats in my family who never did that. Hammy will be an indoor cat and was neutered when he was 12 weeks old. It is a gamble for sure. You never know how they will turn out, but we are willing to give him a chance.
Males usually have a more gentle nature around humans. Some never scratch even accidentally.
The cat rescue is actually a group of families in WV. The couple who are raising Hammy are currently hand raising more than a dozen kittens ranging in age from a few weeks to several months. Hammy was only a few weeks old when he was acquired by the rescue and appears to be the oldest kitten there at about 4 months and is the first available for adoption. The rest are in the process of being vaccinated and are scheduled to have neutering surgery at some point in the next few weeks so they won’t be available for adoption for at least another month. It is hard to look around and not to be taken over by the cuteness. The rescuers watch tv every evening while handling or bottle feeding a lap full of really tiny kittens. Hammy is a prime example of what gentle handling at an early age can do.
Hammy turned out to be a great addition to our family. He’s very friendly to everyone he meets and very playful.
What a handsome little guy Hammy turned out to be at six months. Weighs around 10 pounds. The tiger stripes are stunning. He continues to be extremely friendly and still likes to be held. He is more like a dog that follows us from room to room and wants to be a part of everything we do.
50658
My first "best friend" was a tomcat marked similar to yours and had 4 white feet (Boots). It was my grandmothers cat where I was dropped off every morning by my mother on her way to work. I was only 2 or 3 and carried that cat around like a forklift with both my arms stuck out. Being a tom in particular he let me do most anything and waited for me to show up in the mornings. Very gentle and never scratched.
I remember every animal I grew up with (there was a bunch) and miss them all.
Kragrifle
09-04-2022, 08:22
Might as well jump in here. A few months ago a little male tabby started following us when I walked Tinkerbell, our 5 year old Bichon. Needless to say , since he kept hanging around I adopted him and at 7 months had him neutered and vaccinated.
He lives in our sunroom but I have been letting him out during the day, bringing him in the afternoon, only feeding him inside. Now two months later he often likes to get a little rough when playing and really doesn?t much like to be held. He is very good inside always using the litter box and never spraying.
Should I keep him inside more in an effort to make him more gentle? Will he grow out of it?
Thanks
He is very good inside always using the litter box and never spraying.
Should I keep him inside more in an effort to make him more gentle? Will he grow out of it?
Thanks
Since he isn't spraying (and having him neutered young helps with that) I would say yes, of course. He will get closer to you and start sleeping at the foot of your bed if you let him. Also, some sunrooms get very hot, some have little to no ventilation or air current.
You might consider installing a pet door to the sunroom in order to keep his liter box (and odors) out of the main house?
As far as being held, some cats don't like to feel "crowded" or restricted. Best for him to come to you rather than you go to him. Remember, that's how you two met in the first place. HE came to you.
The female cat that we lost to cancer in April was a lot like your male cat. She eventually became friendly but play time usually got kinda rough. She liked to sleep on my lap and was not really all that fond of being held early but that changed as she grew older.
Cats begin to develop mentally at a very young age, perhaps within the first few weeks of their lives once their eyes open. They become used the warmth of being with and fed by their mother and the warmth and comfort of being in close contact with siblings. Insert a human at this stage to provide food and warmth and the cat will associate all the creature comforts it has become to enjoy with humans.
My kitten was rescued from a hoarder while he was only a few weeks old and was in bad shape. He was starving and had an umbilical hernia that left a three inch scar once the vet performed surgery. The rescue organization fed him every few hours, nursed him back to health and held him every night until we adopted him when he was 4 months old. Since he was handled and held every day when he was very young, he seeks that same attention from us. Imagine waking up from a nap on your favorite recliner with a 10 pound 6 month old kitten laying on your chest purring in your face.
I would give your new friend some space and show him as much kindness and attention as possible and I think he will eventually begin to associate the finer things in his life with you. Play with a chase toy, feed him, give him treats, pet and brush him and see what effect that has. It could take a long time but will be worth it.
Kragrifle
09-04-2022, 03:46
Thanks for the advice!
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