best pub JOTD

[Former Cav]

"As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's.... The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy
you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said Paddy Sheehan, the Irishman. "Back home in me favorite pub in Galway, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you get laid, all on the house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.
"Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me-self, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times.

[RED]

Some how this reminds me of my new Dodge truck!

I bought a new Dodge 3500 Ram Tri-Flex Fuel Truck. It'll run on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85.

Had to go back to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work.

The service technician explained that the radio was voice-activated.

‘Nelson', the technician said to the radio.

The radio replied, 'Ricky or Willie?'

'Willie!' he continued, and 'On The Road Again’ came from the speakers.

Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind' replaced Willie Nelson.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, ‘Beethoven', I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said, ‘Beatles', I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Well, yesterday, some old lady ran a red light and nearly smashed into my new truck, but luckily I swerved in time to avoid her.

I yelled, 'You Crazy Bitch!' Immediately the radio responded with, “Ladies and gentlemen, The Democratic Leader and speaker of the House ....Nancy Pelosi!”

Damn, I love this truck..

[tmark]

Both good ones!

[SMOKEY]

You're getting good Red, real good. Bet old goo laughed at that one

[Bill D]

A recent article in the San Francisco Examiner reported that Nancy Pelosi has sued Stanford Hospital, saying that “after her husband had surgery there, he lost all interest in sex.”
A hospital spokesman replied: “Your husband was admitted for cataract surgery. All we did was correct his eyesight.”