A great husband...

[Jeff L]

They're hard to find...........



Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes."
WOMAN: "I'm at the shops now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $2,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Lexus dealership and saw the new models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$90,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. I was just talking to Janie and found out that the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $980,000 for it."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and make an offer of $900,000. They'll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra eighty-thousand if it's what you really want."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!"
MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."
The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.
He turns and asks, "Anyone know whose phone this is?

[S.A. Boggs]

Sure glad it wasn't mine, I can't afford to pay attention!
Sam

[Major Tom]

I'd love to do that! 8-)

[Clark Howard]

Then, there was the airline captain who was telling his buddies about his trip to New York with his wife. " Some roach grabbed my wife's purse with all her ID and credit cards." "That is going to be a pain to straighten out." says his pal. "No", says cap, "the thief is spending a lot less than my wife was, so I think I'll just let it ride." True or not, I heard it! Regards, Clark

[PWC]

One time in the USAF, our OIC made a statement that wives weren't to call during normal duty hours. That really p****d me off, because when my wife or one of my men's wife calls it is for a reason not just to chat. Several weeks later I was manning the shop, at lunch, when the OIC's wife called and wanted to talk to him. I told her he had just gone to lunch with his wife. There was a pause, then she said she would talk to him later.

Next morning, I heard the OIC's Yamaha motorcycle (ringa-ning-ning-ning) come around the building and park outside my radio maint shop's back door. When he came in he wanted to know if I had talked to his wife on the phone. I said yes and when he demanded to know why I responded that way, I told him the way the men and I felt, and by the way, and If he was Capt. then my first name was Sergeant, as I had worked just as hard for my rank.

His jaw was working when he walked away, and from that time on, all wives calls were put thru. When no one was around we both used first names and the understanding was established.

[dryheat]

A buddy ran into his boss up in a small alpine town. He was with a woman. He assumed it was his wife. Later at the co. picnic was was talking to his boss and his wife and ruminated about the time they met up in Pinedale. His boss kind of was sputtering a little and his wife was silent. Well, it had been a number of months since he'd seen them and maybe she changed her hair color.

[AZshooter]

A man called home at lunch to speak to his wife. The housekeeper told him she was upstairs having intimate relations & she thought she was up there with him. The man told the housekeeper to go over to the desk drawer & take out the gun & shoot them both.

The housekeeper returned to the phone & he told her to get rid of the gun. She said she already gave it to the pool boy to dispose of.

He said: "Wait a minute, we don't have a pool & repeated the home phone number to her."

... Ends up he misdialed the number ...