Little Humor

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  • JOHN COOK
    Senior Member
    • Sep 2009
    • 711

    #1

    Little Humor

    Military Truisms
    • "Aim towards the Enemy." [Instruction printed on US rocket launcher]
    • When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is no longer our friend. [From a US Field Manual]
    • Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground.
    • Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.
    • Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
    • If your attack is going too well, you are walking into an ambush.
    • If you find yourself in a fair fight, you didn't plan your mission properly.
    • Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you.
    • No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection.
    • Any ship can be a minesweeper . . . . once.
    • If the enemy is in range, so are you.
    • Tracers work both ways.
    • Friendly fire isn't.
    • Five second fuses only last three seconds.
    • Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
    • The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
    • Incoming fire has the right of way.
    • The quartermaster has only two sizes: too large and too small.
    • If you can see the enemy, he can see you.
    • And never tell your Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.

    john in SC
    “Then said he unto them, But now, he that hath a purse, let him take it, and likewise his scrip: and he that hath no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one.” (Luke 22:36)
  • Vern Humphrey
    Administrator - OFC
    • Aug 2009
    • 15875

    #2
    And one I learned the hard way: Never step over a dead man.

    (If he's the enemy, he isn't dead and he'll shoot you in the back. If he's friendly, where do you think he was standing when he got it?)

    Comment

    • shadycon
      Senior Member
      • Mar 2010
      • 371

      #3
      When stationed in Ger. '71-'73, we were 30 cliks from the border. In case of air attack it was said we had 1 min. to live. Being a repair parts clerk You would be surprised of the common things we were not allowed to purchase. I case is a heater for a vehicle. Still I have no regrets being in the service.
      M1a1's-R-FUN!!!!!!!

      Comment

      • rayg
        Senior Member
        • Aug 2009
        • 7444

        #4
        I was in 57-58, Bamberg..where were stationed at?

        Comment

        • shadycon
          Senior Member
          • Mar 2010
          • 371

          #5
          Bamberg; 6/10 FA
          M1a1's-R-FUN!!!!!!!

          Comment

          • PWC
            Senior Member
            • Aug 2009
            • 1366

            #6
            Ramstein-"K" town, 79-82

            Comment

            • PWC
              Senior Member
              • Aug 2009
              • 1366

              #7
              Some things learned at the University of Life in the College of Hard Knocks:

              The law of Selective Gravitation: A dropped tool will land where it will do the most damage. There's also a corolloray; a dropped tool will land where further disassembly is required to retrieve it.

              An instantaneous power supply protection device will operate too late.

              Working definition of Entropy: left to themselves, things always go from bad to worse.

              Anything received "cut to length" will be too short.

              If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will go wrong is the one that will cause the most damage.

              Beware the lightning that lurkith in hot equipment.

              The failure probability of something is indersely proportinal to its ease of maintenance.

              Something shipped in "perfect" condition will be unserviceable upon arrival.

              Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.

              Graminski's Law of Ornathoptics: The flap created by a project, suspense, report, etc., is inversely porportional to its importance.
              (may help to look up ornithopter)

              Comment

              • Shawn Grear
                Member
                • Aug 2009
                • 63

                #8
                Kitzingen Germany , Harvey Kaserne 3rd ID 82-84 Rock of the Marne . 11C

                Comment

                • shadycon
                  Senior Member
                  • Mar 2010
                  • 371

                  #9
                  I'm all ways right, except when I'm wrong!
                  M1a1's-R-FUN!!!!!!!

                  Comment

                  • rayg
                    Senior Member
                    • Aug 2009
                    • 7444

                    #10
                    57-58, Bamberg 10th Inf...

                    Comment

                    • S.A. Boggs
                      Senior Member
                      • Aug 2009
                      • 8568

                      #11
                      When it is too quiet something big is going to happen.
                      Sam

                      Comment

                      • Papa Joe
                        Junior Member
                        • Apr 2019
                        • 5

                        #12
                        Wilflecken , '81-'83, 2/15th Inf./ 3rd Inf Division. Disbanded for Div.86 and never came back. Audie Murphy's regiment. 63T / wrench / recovery spec..

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