If you become a bum, this will prove useful ...

[dogtag]

You never know what waits around the corner,
so memorize this just in case.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ginations.html

[dryheat]

I'm not smart enough to learn all that.

[Vern Humphrey]

My great grandmother Clooney used to find those symbols on her gate post all the time -- she was a soft touch and everyone knew it. It was the basis of one of my grandfather's stories:

"Me mither was a kind-hearted lady, and any auld fella down on his luck could come by the house, and she'd give him something to do and pay him with a good meal. There was an auld sailor who says to her, "I've finished choppin' the wood, Ma'am. Is there anything else I can do?"

And she says to him, "I've not had a moment's peace since me byes learned to walk, for feat they'd walk into the water and be drounded. Could you teach them to swim?"

And he says, "I will."

Now we byes knew nothin' of this -- the auld fella told us we were goin' fishin'. He rows us out into the middle of the lake, and one by one, grabs us by the nape of the neck and seat of the pants, an' throws us overboard. Then he rows back.

And me mither says, "Whatever are yez doin'? I thought you was teachin' me byes to swim!"

And he says, "I am, Mum. And them that makes it to shore will be fine swimmers, and yez can count on it."

[Major Tom]

My great grandmother Clooney used to find those symbols on her gate post all the time -- she was a soft touch and everyone knew it. It was the basis of one of my grandfather's stories:

"Me mither was a kind-hearted lady, and any auld fella down on his luck could come by the house, and she'd give him something to do and pay him with a good meal. There was an auld sailor who says to her, "I've finished choppin' the wood, Ma'am. Is there anything else I can do?"

And she says to him, "I've not had a moment's peace since me byes learned to walk, for feat they'd walk into the water and be drounded. Could you teach them to swim?"

And he says, "I will."

Now we byes knew nothin' of this -- the auld fella told us we were goin' fishin'. He rows us out into the middle of the lake, and one by one, grabs us by the nape of the neck and seat of the pants, an' throws us overboard. Then he rows back.

And me mither says, "Whatever are yez doin'? I thought you was teachin' me byes to swim!"

And he says, "I am, Mum. And them that makes it to shore will be fine swimmers, and yez can count on it."

My wife did that to her younger brothers in their home pool.

[Vern Humphrey]

It's a very effective teaching method.

[dogtag]

It's a very effective teaching method.

The sink or swim method. Has winners and losers.

[dryheat]

I remember that, "throw them in" story from when I was a kid. I always thought it was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard. That's when as a kid I started to realize that some grownups were idiots.