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Recent postings about "geezers", disparaging comments about the "younger generations", "millenials", "Gen Xers" always remind that at age 72 and an erstwhile "Senior Citizen"-don't ever recall being a Junior Citizens-and as a member of the "I had lousy parents club" that when I hear of family conflicts and disputes and inter generational frictions my sympathies go with the young until I see convincing evidence otherwise.
A long time friend's father died at 80, senile dementia and related problems. My friend was the primary care giver, aided by his 2 siblings. Their reward:
1. No savings, investments, or insurance.
2. He was in arrears on his taxes.
3. He dipped into his equity.
4. He let the house run down.
Between paying off the home equity loan, the taxes, getting the house fixed up for sale, they got nothing. So much for being dutiful children.
I have lost track of the number of people I have known for whom the early death of a parent, a father or stepfather especially, was no tragedy. One woman told me she and her 2 siblings were untroubled by their father's painful passing from cancer at age 57. He always had the things he wanted, but when it came time to help pay for college or anything else...another friend said he and his siblings derived some wry amusement when their father keeled over from a heart attack at 60 on the golf course with his pals. An activity he greatly preferred to spending time with-or spending money on -his family. One man told me his father died when he was young, his mother remarried, he and No.2 never bonded, when he enlisted in the Air Force right after high school it was "If you leave you don't come back!" "He died of cancer at 61." I have met plenty of women who don't miss their mothers. "All we did was fight!" "I got tired of her moods and attitudes." "She treated me like garbage!"
A long time friend's father died at 80, senile dementia and related problems. My friend was the primary care giver, aided by his 2 siblings. Their reward:
1. No savings, investments, or insurance.
2. He was in arrears on his taxes.
3. He dipped into his equity.
4. He let the house run down.
Between paying off the home equity loan, the taxes, getting the house fixed up for sale, they got nothing. So much for being dutiful children.
I have lost track of the number of people I have known for whom the early death of a parent, a father or stepfather especially, was no tragedy. One woman told me she and her 2 siblings were untroubled by their father's painful passing from cancer at age 57. He always had the things he wanted, but when it came time to help pay for college or anything else...another friend said he and his siblings derived some wry amusement when their father keeled over from a heart attack at 60 on the golf course with his pals. An activity he greatly preferred to spending time with-or spending money on -his family. One man told me his father died when he was young, his mother remarried, he and No.2 never bonded, when he enlisted in the Air Force right after high school it was "If you leave you don't come back!" "He died of cancer at 61." I have met plenty of women who don't miss their mothers. "All we did was fight!" "I got tired of her moods and attitudes." "She treated me like garbage!"
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