It's Complicated

[Art]

https://www.yahoo.com/news/polling-on-abortion-helps-explain-uproar-over-supreme-court-leak-on-roe-v-wade-224101850.html

The polling in the above post has remained about the same for a very long time. When it comes to abortion we are a conflicted nation. The nuances relating to this issue are wide and varied and dependent to some degree or race, religion, ethnicity and region of the country one happens to live in. The debate has been controlled by zealots and absolutists on both sides.

This is never going away. The debate wasn't ended by Roe and won't be ended by this.

Also, for all the fire and brimstone it's an issue that seldom cracks the top five in what people are actually concerned about day to day.

[dogtag]

Apparently the bureaucrats involved in adoptions make it very difficult for would-be parents.
I guess killing them is easier and involves less paperwork.

[togor]

Apparently the bureaucrats involved in adoptions make it very difficult for would-be parents.
I guess killing them is easier and involves less paperwork.

What killed adoption is the fact that they're all open now. You're halfway through raising a kid, in the difficult teen years, you and your spouse put in all of the time and expense, and then birth mommy comes back into the picture and that is that. Even if legal custody isn't changed, the kid might decide that they'd rather be with birth mommy and all your work goes south.

Judges ruined adoptions by letting that door swing back open. It's enough of a reminder to the adoptive parents that the kid isn't really yours so as to create a huge disincentive to go through the process. And this is why kids from Eurasia were so sought-after. Pretty hard for some Vietnamese peasant to re-enter the kid's life in 15 years.

We had the kids we had with pretty much no trouble choosing the # or the timing. I guess we were lucky. I cannot imagine being a couple and not being able to conceive and wondering if we should try our luck with some state agency. I would not believe in 1,000,000 years that a state agency would not eff the whole thing up, on our nickel no less. So yeah try our luck overseas if it came to that.

[dogtag]

An excellent point I'm loathe to admit

[togor]

An excellent point I'm loathe to admit

Oh my wife reminded me of this too--

When a "clean" adoption of a kid goes forward, there is a window of regret--60 days?--in which the birth mother can change her mind. There was a couple living in the area around here a few years ago. They adopted, had a baby, for 56 days, pushed it around in a stroller, bonding, the whole deal. Birth mom called "backsies". And because this one was pre-arranged, the adoptive parents had fronted a bunch of expenses. Well too bad, so sad!

There are the damaged babies, from heroine or cocaine or alcohol pregnancies, or other, that really could use parents. And there are the blessed angles who adopt them! But for sure there are a lot fewer old-school teenager or scandalized-unwed-mom pregnancies to provide raw material to the adoption system. And I don't think abortion laws will change that. I don't think Mississippi or Alabama or Texas or Oklahoma are suddenly going to become destinations for rich childless couples from Boston or San Francisco looking to have a family. Just won't work out that way.

[dogtag]

With all the rape going on of illegal border crossers a would be parent
could quietly buy an unwanted one for a reasonable price.
There's probably a thriving market for this kind of thing.

[Art]

Oh my wife reminded me of this too--

When a "clean" adoption of a kid goes forward, there is a window of regret--60 days?--in which the birth mother can change her mind. There was a couple living in the area around here a few years ago. They adopted, had a baby, for 56 days, pushed it around in a stroller, bonding, the whole deal. Birth mom called "backsies". And because this one was pre-arranged, the adoptive parents had fronted a bunch of expenses. Well too bad, so sad!

There are the damaged babies, from heroine or cocaine or alcohol pregnancies, or other, that really could use parents. And there are the blessed angles who adopt them! But for sure there are a lot fewer old-school teenager or scandalized-unwed-mom pregnancies to provide raw material to the adoption system. And I don't think abortion laws will change that. I don't think Mississippi or Alabama or Texas or Oklahoma are suddenly going to become destinations for rich childless couples from Boston or San Francisco looking to have a family. Just won't work out that way.

Everything here is true, unfortunately. There is also the problem of birth moms who call "backsies" later and even if they don't succeed they make things very unpleasant. There are also birth moms who later decide they want to be "involved."

There is a local talk show host named Michael Berry who solved the problem by adopting two Ethiopian children which of course saved two African children but helps no one here.

We know a couple who adopted the two children of the woman's thug sister. The younger child was badly damaged by chrystal meth her mother used during pregnancy. She had to fight her sister for custody but succeeded. You're right, there has to be a special place in heaven for people like that.

[dryheat]

Adopting (shudder). 'badly damaged by crystal meht' A buddy adopted his wifes goofy sisters baby. The woman was sixteen at the time. None of them are all that stable. The kid is twenty four now and in prison. Adopting one of Satans angels kids isn't the best choice.
Of course, sometimes you get lucky. Some adopted kids turn out great.

[Vern Humphrey]

Apparently the bureaucrats involved in adoptions make it very difficult for would-be parents.
I guess killing them is easier and involves less paperwork.

Exactly right. A few years ago, when I looked it up, an adoption cost about $50K.

Here's a thought -- why not make adoption FREE and GIVE the adoptive parents $50K to pay for the baby's college?

[togor]

Exactly right. A few years ago, when I looked it up, an adoption cost about $50K.

Here's a thought -- why not make adoption FREE and GIVE the adoptive parents $50K to pay for the baby's college?

Who pays? Money comes from somewhere.