Practical Jokes

[Airborne505]

C- rat bomb

While on the peace keeping tour with the MFO in the Sinai we had the
C-rats and also started using the mre's. We had OP's all along the coast
and up in the mountains, we would be at one OP for ten days and then transfer
another OP for another 10 days or be on a continues partrol. We had our latrines
about 50 yards plus away from the OP they were metal lockers with a seat in it, they cut the bottom 1/3 off a 55 gal drum and you know the drill, well we had to
burn the s!@$ but what we did was take the small thin C-rat can that had peanut
butter, jelly or cheese and throw one or two in the crap so the first sap that stood there and stirred it while it burned had no idea what was coming. We sat there on the edge of the trenches taking bets how long it would take one of those jelly Bombs to explode. When it did cook off it flew I mean he was covered and man was he mad , started throwing rocks at us we ducked into the trenches laughing, falling down and dodging rocks. From then on we all took our turn with the big stink stick and when you saw the guys at the trench line pointing and laughing you knew you were going to be the days entertainment.

[Sean P Gilday]

Lets see....

Signed an NCO up for the NAMBLA Newsletter, and Ordered some rubber pocket rockets in his name delivered to the Bn Cdr's office, whilestationed as USMA, West Point.

Made a Fake USO Leaflet up saying meet the cast of Star Wars at the South Victory PX in Baghdad the next day and left it in the TOC. Certain 2lt next afternoon was fuming about missing it and My joes kept coming in saying they had pics with Sam Jackson, Harrison Ford, etc driving the 2lt up a wall. He really deserved it.

Same 2lt while at Cp. Stryker someone left a condom with chocolate on the tip and hand lotioninside it on his sleeping bag. He comes in grabs it holding it next to his face screaming who's is this? Myself and other NCO calmly look over and say thought it was yours sir, and go back to our conversation while he realizes he is supposed to be holding a used Condom and freaks out running out of the tent.

Fellow Soldier at tent city, NTC scared of Spiders. While in shower we cover cot in hundreds of plastic toy spiders from PX and cover with Wubbie. Cue scream when he comes in and tries to get in cot

While stationed at a CJ-SOTF compund in Baghdad, renamed a certain Plt Ldrs Land rover gun truck "The Closet" and found a Blank I Heart sticker filled in with 2nd Plt Ldrs first name (Colin)and affixed to rear bumber of same landrover.

[Michael Tompkins]

Lets see....

Signed an NCO up for the NAMBLA Newsletter, and Ordered some rubber pocket rockets in his name delivered to the Bn Cdr's office, whilestationed as USMA, West Point.

Made a Fake USO Leaflet up saying meet the cast of Star Wars at the South Victory PX in Baghdad the next day and left it in the TOC. Certain 2lt next afternoon was fuming about missing it and My joes kept coming in saying they had pics with Sam Jackson, Harrison Ford, etc driving the 2lt up a wall. He really deserved it.

Same 2lt while at Cp. Stryker someone left a condom with chocolate on the tip and hand lotioninside it on his sleeping bag. He comes in grabs it holding it next to his face screaming who's is this? Myself and other NCO calmly look over and say thought it was yours sir, and go back to our conversation while he realizes he is supposed to be holding a used Condom and freaks out running out of the tent.

Fellow Soldier at tent city, NTC scared of Spiders. While in shower we cover cot in hundreds of plastic toy spiders from PX and cover with Wubbie. Cue scream when he comes in and tries to get in cot

While stationed at a CJ-SOTF compund in Baghdad, renamed a certain Plt Ldrs Land rover gun truck "The Closet" and found a Blank I Heart sticker filled in with 2nd Plt Ldrs first name (Colin)and affixed to rear bumber of same landrover.

Somebody was a bad boy! When did you find time to soldier??? Ha! Mike

[Michael Tompkins]

One more...

I was due to rotate out of D 5/6 ADA, so I decided to leave a calling card on the roof of the Ready Bldg on the actual missile site. When we weren't in the towers, we were in the Ready Bldg. I found a gallon can of signal yellow enamel paint and climbed up on top of the roof. I popped the top open and just began to pour it out onto the tar pitch roof in great, big 10 foot letters. F....T....A.

I rotated out about a month later to my new duty assignment. It wasn't until I was out of the Army that I heard from a buddy what had happened. I never told anyone I did it, but they guessed it was me. Seems D Battery got a new battalion commander about 6 months after I left. He decided to visit all of the batteries via a UH-1. Saw my art work from above and did some major heel-locking once on the ground. He told me that several of the MPs had to haul sandbags up onto the roof and spread around the sand to cover up the letters. I'm such a stinker! I hated that place, but I got in the last laugh! Mike

[Greg Ficklin]

I was new to BN maint of the 3rd AAV Bn at Camp Del Mar in Camp Pendleton, CA. Our tool room NCO was the most respected and meticulous Sgt.Carmichael. He was very busy with tool room stuff, and seemed in dire need when he ordered me to go up to Top Zimmerman's office. "What do you need Car ?" I asked. .."I need some BA 11 hunded N's...I'm all out of them !" He said.
"It is a form I need to inventory the common set "B". Top Z has a whole stack of them. Go up there and get them for me.
He told me where his office was and reminded me to call him "Sir".
I felt uneasy about the whole thing, something just didn't seem right. But this was a lawful order from a superior NCO. I get to Top Z's office and knocked. He was busy, and seemed a bit irritated that I knocked on his hatch.
" What can I do for you Marine?" I was nervous, seeing all those stripes on his collar. I said " Sgt Carmichael, from BN maint. sent me for some BA-11 hundred N's. He looked really irritated now, as he slammed his pen down on his desk and looked at me. "Are you stupid ?.... You don't look stupid" he said. "Come over here, and write down what he sent you for. He had one of those big desk top calenders that people write on. I wrote B=A-11-00-N ..."Balloon?".... "GET THE F*CK OUT OF MY OFFICE !